MOODSWINGS, MOODSWINGS.

SIGHHHHHHHHHH.

Sorry for ANOTHER depressing post, but I just read someone's blog and felt something, so I just had to get this out. It isnt anything big, but well, since I have no one to talk to and my clarinet is so unresponsive, well. I've no choice but to write it here, hopefully someone will understand.

Well, I wont mention who's blog I was reading, but her blog made me suddenly come to this sudden realisation that I'm such a boring person. I mean, sometimes, I cant come up with anything to say during conversations so I find it awkward(esp with girls), but of course this excludes good friends. Then I'm not good at anything, so I dont really have much to feel a sense of achievement about. Anyway, I see all those sociable people, with their big group of friends, and I look at myself. I'm just so inferior. Maybe I should adapt to society?

I think many of you know that I'm not really that open to people that I dont know. Its like.. entering PhilYouth for the first time, I didn't know anyone, but neither did I make the effort to talk to anyone. I was just too shy, and well, kinda scared. And looking around me, half the people know each other. Well, it feels weird, if you know what I mean. Then when I found out during the week that I knew ralph, you have no idea how elated I was, to at least know SOMEONE during the practice. Well, I knew Sheryl. But that was different, in a sense. At least its more comfortable when I actually know someone, and I wont feel that I'm in a world of strangers half the time. They're all nice people, I can tell. (:

Sigh, I was thinking about going for tkd again. Its now on a thursday, and doesnt clash with tuition anymore, so hopefully I can make it. At least I learn self-discipline, and well, it takes my mind of other things for a while. Why? I have friends by my side, and its comforting when we're having fun. And MAYBE, just MAYBE, I can actually learn something new. Hopefully ma'am is there and she decides to teach us something new. I DONT WNA GET STUCK TEACHING PEOPLE PATTERN AGAIN. :(

Y'know, actually I always imagined myself being more open, and more comfortable in social situations, but somehow I can never manage it. I'm always out of things to say. I wish I had more good friends, but I think maybe its my fault. I seem quite dao sometimes. [AND HOW COME I ONLY DARE TO TALK TO GUYS? I find girls so intimidating sometimes. I don't know, maybe when I find things in common with people I tend to feel more comfortable. And well, I do stuff that alot of guys do. So, maybe.] But hey, I'm putting in effort to get to know people better. But I still have to stay true to max, and I will.

Haiiz, I don't know what to say already.